Barriers and Brick Walls
by ForAmusementOnly
Summary: IM BAACK! did ya miss me? :D i dont no if i wanna no the answer, but neway here is the next installment of this fic! Enjoy, the romance is acummin and its right round the corner! heeheehee :p
1. Chapter 1

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter One**

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**Disclaimer –I don't own Gilmore Girls, Channel Nine, or the title (Barriers and Brick Walls incase you missed it before). Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers. I have no idea who Channel Nine belongs to, and to tell you the truth I don't really care because it's probably some millionaire that has too much money than he knows what to do with. The title of my fanfic belongs to Kasey Chambers album, and no my fic does not relate in any way to that album because I haven't actually heard it.**

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**A/N#1 Heylo everybody! This fic I started at twenty to four am. You all probably think I'm crazy, right. Well yeah, I probably am, but I also suffer from sleep deprivation and insomnia. Oh well, never mind. When ever I can't sleep, I just write more for my fanfics, which makes you guys happy, so it doesn't matter that much.**

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**A/N#2 Heylo again! I'd just like to say that I'm an Aussie and I am absolutely appalled with Australian television, especially a certain channel *cough* nine *cough*. First of all, they take GG off air in the middle of the friggin' season, which is sinning in itself. But now, and I really think that this has gone just too far - they have just finished season two and have decided not to show season three for a while! Do you know how disappointed I am? America gets to see season three now! It's not fair! I'm seriously considering why I moved back here! Oh yeah, I'm a joint Aussie/US citizen. Anyway, if any other Aussies know when Channel Nine are going to screen our precious third season, or you just want to say that you hate them too, please feel free to email me – watching_angels_fly@hotmail.com – maybe we could get a petition going or something! Oh, I am way too perky for 4 am in the morning. Anyways, rant over, just enjoy this fic! And feel free to review *hint**hint**wink**wink*!**

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**A/N#3 This is the last one, promise! Just thought I'd tell you that no, I'm not a bitter twisted cynical old freak who got lost in the 70's and hasn't made her way out yet. I'm a sweet, innocent caring teenager who likes to write and yes I suffer insomnia, as said earlier. They say the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. I took that step about a year ago and guess what?! I sleep about ten minutes longer than I used to now! Yeah! Can you detect the sarcasm in my voice? If anyone knows what the second step to recovery is, please tell me, 'cus I think I'm failing school – I keep falling asleep in class. Having said that, this author's note isn't meant to be about insomnia – I just wanted to say if I come across crabby, it's because I express my feelings in my writing and while I'm writing this, I have probably just woken up, so don't be too harsh on me, k?**

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Part One-One Year

It had been one year since Rory had moved out of Stars Hollow and into her grandparents' house at Hartford.

One year since her mother was killed.

One year since Jess left for good to go live in NYC.

One year since Dean had gotten sick of her and made out with some blonde in front of the whole school as a sign that him and Rory had broken up.

One year since Rory decided she wasn't gonna be no social outcast no more.

One year since Rory had decided that she would become what she had hated for so long – a true Chiltonite. A selfish conceited bitch who was just a typical Chiltonite.

One year since Rory had covered herself with the fake identity of a Chiltonite.

One year since anyone had seen the real Rory.

One year. And so much had changed.

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Part Two-The Smile

The sun rose and Rory got out of bed and stretched.

And then it came. The almost smile. The real smile.

But in an instant it was gone.

Rory had let her guard down.

She had let the world see, for that brief moment, the old Rory.

But she couldn't do that.

It was too dangerous.

What would everyone think?

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Part Three-The Shower

Rory walked into the shower, undressed quickly and turned the hot tap on full blast, before adjusting it so that it was only moderately warm.

Under the shower, she could be herself.

She had locked the door, and so locked the world out.

With that thought, Rory began to sing the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

How she missed that movie.

It was the all-time best ever movie, and she couldn't watch it.

Why? Because…..

What would everyone think?

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Part Four-Getting Dressed

Rory turned off the shower and began to get dressed. She put on –

· her black lacy wonderbra with matching undies;

· her black knee high stockings (which had runs in them);

· her regulation Chilton skirt (hemmed so that it almost showed her undies);

· her regulation Chilton white shirt (with a total of two buttons done up);

· her regulation Chilton tie (she couldn't modify that one, much to her disgust);

· her Roc shoes (which had a 6cm heel);

· foundation;

· black mascara;

· black eyeliner;

· gold eye shadow;

· clear lipgloss;

· seven silver bangles on her right wrist;

· a matching silver choker necklace; and

· silver drop earrings.

Rory's long nails were French manicured and she left her hair down.

Now suitably disguised so that no body would see the old Rory lurking beneath, she was ready to face the world.

This was a typical day in the life of Rory Gilmore.

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_Do you like it? I know it's short, but I needed an intro so that I could get on with the rest. Btw, for all those who haven't gone metric yet, 6cm = approx. two and three eighths inches. Remember to review! Bye!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter Two**

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**Disclaimer –I don't own Gilmore Girls, it belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers.**

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**A/N#1 Ħō£ă! How are you all? Thanx 4 all ure reviews! Just some replies to the reviews I got:**

· **Tayliz-I know my sentence structure is weird in Ch.1 but its back to normal now!**

· **CoffeeObsessed-I love ure pen name! Can u email me and tell me wat u think the connection is please?**

· **Emma (im_a_gilmore_girl@hotmail.com)-yeah, I no its not realloy their fault, but I feel better if I take the blame out on someone.**

· **Me-I no, I really did have to kill Lorelei off, soz! But everything ends up happy in the end! Lol.**

· **luke_lorelai_ash-do u really like my writing style in Ch.1 or r u just saying that 2 be nice? Lol, either way, I'm going back 2 my usual style.**

· **Somebody-thanx for the correction, but I cant be stuffed changing it. I'm an Aussie, which means I live in Australia.**

· **laura**** (lopezsexyangel@aol.com)-I will email u wen I'm about to upload a new chapter, k?**

· **blu3yes278-I haven't read those stories, but if Ch.1 sounds like it, sorry. I'm pretty sure the end product will not be like it tho, so keep reading, k?**

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**A/N#2 Just to let you know, if I put 'x' then x is thoughts, if I put "x" then x is speech. ~x~ indicates that x is something written or a letter.**

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Rory was already seated at the dining room table when Emily emerged from her bedroom, dressed, pampered and also ready for another day.

"Grandma." Rory said and nodded her head.

'There's that nod again. I haven't got a single hug from her since she moved in. Rory seems so down lately. It has been a whole year since she moved in; I thought she would have gotten over this whole depression thing by now. Although she has changed. She never used to wear her uniform that way, did she? I hope that reply from the ice man comes soon, I just don't know how to cheer Rory up. But he knew her better, he'll be able to fix it.' Emily thought miserably as she sat at the table. She hated asking for help.

"Morning Rory. How are you today?" Emily asked politely.

She wasn't really expecting an answer – she never got one.

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Luke walked out to the diner There was mail.

'Odd. I never get mail anymore.' Luke thought as he picked it up.

'From Emily Gilmore….. Gilmore!' Luke ripped open the envelope.

_~Dear Mr. Danes,_

_Hello. My name is Emily Gilmore. You may remember me. I am currently the legal guardian of Rory, whom I understand you were very close to. I have noticed a change in Rory lately and she's not acting herself anymore. Seeing as you knew her well, I was wondering if you knew anything that would cheer her up. She seems depressed._

_Thanking you in advance,_

_Mrs. Emily Gilmore~_

'Rory's in trouble! What could cheer her up? Coffee! I'll send her some of my special coffee blend!' Luke thought as he raced out to the storeroom and grabbed a medium packet of his coffee.

'But that's not enough. I can't just make everything better with coffee. Coffee didn't when Lorelei was….. Well it didn't. I have to send her something more. But what? I don't have anything more to send her. But Jess might.' Luke thought.

Grabbing a pen and piece of paper, Luke wrote:

_~Jess,_

_I had a letter from Rory's grandmother today. It's enclosed. I couldn't think of anything except coffee, which I'm going to send her. I'm sure you would know what to send her though. Please send it to the return address on the envelope._

_Luke_

_PS How are you? ~_

Luke walked to the post office (A/N is there a post office in Star's Hollow? Oh well, there is now!) and sent the package to Hartford and the letter to New York.

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Rory walked into the halls of hell.

'Not hell, home.' Rory quickly corrected herself.

"Rory!" Summer bounded up to her.

"Hey Summer! How are you?" Rory replied, fake smiling while she hugged Summer.

"Good! But you wouldn't believe what happened?! You know Tommy?" Summer asked.

"Tommy….." Rory trailed off, not remembering.

"You know, your boyfriend? He hasn't dumped you, has he?" Summer asked, unsure.

"Oh, yeah!" Rory said, kicking herself from the inside.

'How could I have forgotten about Tommy? I made out with him yesterday afternoon. _He's that forgettable; doesn't that tell you something about your relationship? NO! __You keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll believe it' Rory had a fight between the two voices in her head._

Rory turned her attention back to Summer, who had been rambling on about something or other and then finally got to the point.

"So now we don't have a party to go to on Friday anymore!" Summer said exasperatedly.

"Why not?" Rory asked.

"Haven't you listened to a thing I said? Tommy got grounded. It turns out his mom doesn't approve of his choice of girlfriend." Summer said.

"But, I'm Tommy's girlfriend." Rory said, now thoroughly confused.

"Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you! Tommy's Mom hates you and it turns out Tommy is a Mommy's boy – so now not only are you boyfriendless, the party this Friday is off." Summer said.

"Don't worry about the party Summer, we can have it at my house. And the boyfriend thing, solved." Rory said as she walked up to James and began to flirt.

Summer smiled. 'That a girl Rory, I taught you well.'

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Do you like it? Review and you'll get another chapter! Ta!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter Three**

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**Disclaimer –I don't own Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers.**

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**A/N#1 Hey! Not much to say, just keep on reviewing.**

Some feedback for the reviewers – 

Thanks to everyone who tried to guess the connection, they are all really good ideas but none of them fit with my twisted plot outline that I store in my head. There might not even be a connection. Although I swear there was at one stage. Lol.

**Sleepneeded911-just wait and see.**

**J.Dax-eventually.**

**Me-I try, I really do. They just don't seem to want to get any longer though. Sorry!**

**Tayliz-not particularly, just keep reading and you'll see what I mean.**

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"Jess! Dinner's ready!" Katie called up the stairs.

"Hey. What is it, it smells good?" jess said, giving his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

"Chicken risotto." Katie replied.

"Yum, my favourite!" Jess said as they sat down to eat their meal.

"Oh, I almost forgot. You got mail today." Katie said, jumping up from the table and getting an envelope.

"Mail? Who from?" Jess queried.

"Umm, your mom I think.  But the envelope's pretty thick." Katie said, handing it to him.

"Thanks," Jess said, opening the package.

Inside was a short note from his mother;

_~Jess,_

_Hey. How are you? Hope you are well. Luke sent this to my address, but it's for you, so I thought I'd pass it on. I didn't open it – I wouldn't want to invade your privacy._

_Love Mom. ~_

Jess opened Luke's envelope.

_~Jess,_

_I had a letter from Rory's grandmother today. It's enclosed. I couldn't think of anything except coffee, which I'm going to send her. I'm sure you would know what to send her though. Please send it to the return address on the envelope._

_Luke_

_PS How are you? ~_

'What is this, pass the parcel?' Jess thought, chuckling at his own joke. Then he opened Emily's letter.

_~Dear Mr. Danes,_

_Hello. My name is Emily Gilmore. You may remember me. I am currently the legal guardian of Rory, whom I understand you were very close to. I have noticed a change in Rory lately and she's not acting herself anymore. Seeing as you knew her well, I was wondering if you knew anything that would cheer her up. She seems depressed._

_Thanking you in advance,_

_Mrs. Emily Gilmore~_

'Rory's in trouble! I have to help her! What could I send her? The box, stuff from the box!' Jess thought and ran up the stairs.

"Jess?!" Katie called after him, confused.

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Locking the door behind him, Jess opened the closet and dragged a box out.

Opening the box, he removed Rory's stuff.

The stuff that reminded him of her.

She had given him all of this stuff.

And now he needed to return it.

Jess removed some of the most important items from the box and carefully placed them in a smaller box.

Taking the box by both hands, Jess carried it down the stairs and explained to Katie.

Rory was a friend in need and he had to help.

Katie understood perfectly and Jess left the house to walk the block to the all night post office, where he posted the parcel to Rory Gilmore, care of Emily and Richard Gilmore.

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Short, I know. But I'll update soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter Four**

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**Disclaimer – I don't own Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers. I don't own Sony either, although that would be really cool. And, no, I don't own Juliana Theory.**

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**A/N#1 Hey! Not much to say, just thanks to all who have reviewed and keep it up.**

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"Rory!" James exclaimed as he walked into Chilton on Friday afternoon.

"Hey, James." Rory said as she pulled him into a kiss.

They made out for about a minute before they were rudely interrupted.

"Get a room you two," Paris exclaimed, exasperated.

"Paris, just because you can't pick up, doesn't mean you have to take your frustration out on me." Rory retaliated, ready for a fight

"I can get a guy Gilmore." Paris eyed Rory evilly.

"Yeah, and I'm an angel who reads books for fun." Rory snubbed and walked away, leading James by the hand.

"You used to be." Paris sighed under her breath, just loud enough for Rory to hear.

Rory bit her lip, contemplating whether to turn around again, but decided against it. After all, Paris was right.

But what Paris didn't know didn't know was that underneath everything, Rory was still that angel.

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Rory pulled up outside of her Grandparents' house and walked in.

"Hello Miss Rory. How was your day?" The butler asked.

"Shit." Rory said as she walked past him, dropping her coat and other stuff on the floor.

Rory was just about to go upstairs when the butler interrupted.

"Miss Rory, you have mail." He said and held out a parcel for her.

Rory ignored him but took the package and stomped upstairs.

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Once inside, Rory locked the door.

Who could she be getting mail from?

Opening the package neatly so that the wrapping was still intact, Rory pulled out a bag of…

'Coffee!' Rory jumped for joy.

But on closer inspection, Rory realised that this was not just coffee, but it was…

'Luke's coffee! But Luke would never give me his special coffee blend, would he? I mean, this must be a mistake.'

Then Rory found a letter enclosed with the package.

_~Dear Rory,_

_Hi. How are you? I'm fine, I guess. It seems so lonely in the diner now that Jess, you and your Mom aren't here anymore. Feel free to visit anytime; you know that, don't you? Well, I wasn't sure how you were doing, so I thought I'd send you some coffee. It really helps cheer you up if you're sad._

_I'd better post this and then get back to the diner, because Caesar isn't going to be here today._

_Call if you need anything._

_From, Luke ~_

'How did he know I was sad?' Rory wondered, amazed at Luke's intuition.

Just then a courier pulled up outside the house.

A short while later, a tentative knock came upon Rory's bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Rory asked.

"It's Leila, Miss Rory." Leila the maid said.

"What is it?" Rory asked. Yesterday, this conversation would have had a nasty tone to it, but this afternoon, Rory wasn't in the mood for rebellion.

"A package has just arrived for you. Shall I leave it outside the door?" Leila asked.

"Yes, Leila. Thank you." Rory said.

"You're welcome Miss Rory." Leila's footsteps were heard padding down the stairs.

Rory opened the door.

There was a box shaped parcel lying at her feet.

Dragging the box inside, Rory sat on her bed and opened it.

She pulled the first object out of the box.

A photo album.

Flipping through the pages, the photos were of Rory. Rory and Luke, Rory and Jess, Rory and Miss Patty, Rory and her Mom.

But in these photos, Rory was angel Rory.

Her clothes weren't slutty and she didn't care what anyone else thought of her.

This was the old Rory.

The Rory with a real smile on her face.

The Rory who wasn't a true Chiltonite.

The Rory who allowed people to see the real her.

Blinking back tears, Rory pulled the next object out of the box.

It was a leather bound journal.

Opening it hesitantly, Rory immediately recognised Jess' handwriting.

_~Rory,_

_Why are you doing this to yourself?_

_You know that's not the real you,_

_The real you is hiding._

_The real you is gentle, kind, and caring._

_Not harsh, mean, and cruel._

_People liked the real you,_

_Now people only see your attitude and popularity,_

_Which by the way is fake.___

_I know it isn't easy,_

_Losing someone that you love.___

_But the way you're dealing with it is not right._

_Believe me, I know._

_You're making the same mistakes that I made,_

_In __New York__ when my dad died._

_My mom's answer was to ship me off to my Luke,_

_So that he could deal with the problem._

_Being in Stars Hollow made me realise,_

_Just what it means to have your bearings.___

_Now that you're not in Stars Hollow anymore,_

_It's even more important that you learn to be yourself._

_My mom fixed things by shifting the problem off to someone else._

_Your grandparents' aren't the type to do that._

_Being so superficial will make your life a living hell._

_But if you stay true to yourself then the pain will be eased and eventually cease._

_You won't love your Mom any less, but you'll be able to get on with your life._

_I love you like a sister Rory, and I hate to see you hurting._

_Luke's worried sick about you too – he's sending you his special coffee blend._

_So drink up, and be yourself._

_Love Jess ~_

Rory was in tears as she read what Jess had to say.

She could tell that it was written from the heart and that he truly cared.

Sifting through the other items in the box, there was an assortment of her favourite books and other memorabilia of her old life.

And then she found a small black box that she didn't recognise at all.

Opening it, she found a Sony minidisc player.

It already had a disk in it.

Putting the headphones on her ears, Rory curled up on her bed and pressed play.

_Will there ever be time enough?_

_Or are we just too naive?_

_I haven't just given up._

_Oh God, I still believe._

_Is patience still waiting?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Is patience still waiting?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Are you laughing at us today?_

_And is this just one big game?_

_Now cash me in while you can._

_We never were the same._

_Is patience still waiting?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Is patience still waiting?_

_Will I wait on my knees too?_

_Come on .Come on._

_Come on. Come on._

_Come on. Come on._

_Come on. Come on._

_Come on. Come on._

_Come on._

_Will you ever have all you want?_

_And are we just next in line?_

_Don't throw out your one good chance._

_You only have this time._

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Do you like it? I know what Jess wrote seems a little out of character, but he's worried about Rory and he channels his true feelings out through his writing. Next up, Rory's dreams. This story has taken an unexpected turn, so the climax is postponed a few chapters, k? Cya! And remember to review please.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter Five**

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**Disclaimer – I don't own Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers. I don't own Eric Clapton either.**

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**A/N#1 Hello everyone! I am so sorry! It's been like, months, so let me explain. I got writers block, I've been busy, I've had exams, I broke up with my best friend and it's the end of the school year. PLUS I've been sleeping more, so I haven't been writing at three in the morning, so I haven't been writing at all. Do you forgive me? I hope so, cus I'm back in the mood now.**

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Rory woke up and looked around.

She was in Stars Hollow.

In her room.

Getting up, she walked out to the kitchen.

There was a note from her mom.

_~Rory – _

_I'm at Luke's. Meet me there._

_Love Mom ~_

Putting on her jacket so she wouldn't freeze, Rory quickly walked to Luke's.

"Hey Rory, did you get my package?" Luke smiled as he set a big cup of coffee down in front of her.

"Hey Rory, I borrowed your copy of Oliver Twist, okay? Sorry, I lost mine." Jess said as he hugged Rory good morning.

"Rory, darling, come and sit down next to me." Rory heard Lorelei's voice calling her.

"Coming Mom. Where are you? This fog is really thick." Rory called out into the bleak whiteness.

"Rory, there's no fog inside. What are you, delirious?" Dean's voice asked snidely.

"Dean, I don't want to speak to you at the moment. I'm trying to find my mom. Mom where are you?" Rory called once more.

"I'm over here sweetie. Just follow my voice." Lorelei's voice rang through the emptiness.

"Marco?" Rory called.

"Polo." Lorelei said. 

"Marco?" Rory called.

"Polo." Lorelei said.

"Marco?" Rory called.

"Polo." Lorelei said.

"Marco?" Rory called.

"I'm right here Rory, there's nothing to worry about." Lorelei said.

"Mom!" Rory squealed and went to hug her, but Lorelei stepped out of the way.

"I'm sorry. It's a rule. We're not allowed to touch each other." Lorelei explained, frowning.

"Rules were made to be broken. And who made that rule anyway? It's shameful." Rory asked.

"This rule has to be kept Rory. It's important." Lorelei said, wanting so much to just hold her baby and tell her that it was okay.

"Why?" Rory inquired.

"Because you're a visitor here. And visitors have to stick to the rules. Why don't you come and sit down, have coffee." Lorelei suggested.

"Okay."

Rory followed her mom out of the white fog and out into a park that had tables and chairs. Many other people were sitting down and talking together.

Sitting down, coffee immediately appeared in front of them.

Tasting it, Lorelei smiled.

"Ahh, coffee. It really is the drink of the God's you know." Lorelei said.

"Really? So are we in… heaven?" Rory asked.

"Yes, Rory. We're in heaven. Its visiting hours all the time here, so you can stay as long as you want. And the coffee is free." Lorelei smiled.

"What's the catch? It sounds too good to be true." Rory asked.

"You can only come here when you're sleeping. And there is actually a purpose to these visits. They are to help you accept and move on with your life." Lorelei said.

Then Rory began to sing.

_Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?__  
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.  
  
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?  
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?  
I'll find my way through night and day,  
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven._

"Rory, must I remind you that you're quoting Eric Clapton?" Lorelei asked.

"Yeah, but it's just how I feel." Rory explained.

"Would you like me to answer your questions then?" Lorelei asked.

"Mmm."

"Yes I would know your name if I saw you in heaven, because I called it out. No it's not the same, because I'm dead Rory, and you have to accept that. Yes you must be strong and carry on, because no you don't belong here in heaven. No I won't hold your hand in heaven, because it's against the rules. And you don't need to me to help you stand; you were doing it just fine before. I love you so much Rory and I know that you will never forget me, but you have to stop being so plastic. I'm watching over you all the time from up here, and I can see that people are worried sick about you. Jess, Luke, even Emily and Richard are worried. You need to stop being this person that you've become and start being your old self again. You know you want to. It might take a while, because you have to take it step by step, but you'll get there in the end. I know you will, Rory. I love you and I always will. I have faith in you." Lorelei said, choking back tears.

Rory just nodded glumly.

"Now, I think it's time you left. You're needed at that party of yours." Lorelei said, standing up.

"But I don't wanna go." Rory whined.

"Sweetie, you have to. You're not ready to be here on a permanent basis yet. You have your whole life ahead of you. I love you. Bye." Lorelei said as she waved.

"Mom!" too late, Rory was being dragged backwards into the fog.

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A sharp knock on her door woke Rory from her dreams.

"Rory. Your party started an hour ago, you need to be down there." Emily's voice called through the door.

"Yes, Grandma. I'll be there soon." Rory called back, and began to get ready for the party.

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Did you like it? Next chapter coming soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

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**Chapter Six**

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**Disclaimer – I don't own Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers. However, I do own this plot, and if I catch any of you stealing it I will be thoroughly disappointed and maybe even a smidge angry. Distribution is fine, but please put my name on it and don't forget to tell me!**

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**A/N#1 Thank you so much for those lovely reviews you guys gave me! I am sooo happy now. I just got my braces off, tomorrows the last day of school and I got beautiful reviews! That said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had originally planned this fic only as a short side fic while I concentrated on my main one, but I like this one too much, so I will concentrate on this, k! But I really appreciate reviews, J**

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Rory awoke on Sunday and lay in her bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling.

How was she going to change? She had already made a name and status for herself, she wasn't sure she could just simply slip back into the old Rory mould yet. It had to be a gradual thing.

Rory had visited her mother the past night, and Lorelei had suggested that Rory try to sort things out in the real world before she visited for coffee again.

So Rory sent a thank you letter to Luke for the coffee. Then, after much deliberation, she also wrote in the leather journal Jess had sent her.

~_Jess-_

_Thank you for your concern._

_I understand your love for me is strong._

_I'm sorry, I didn't know you left __New York__ because your Dad died._

_I wanted to apologise for anything I've ever said or done to hurt you._

_I am going to try to become a better person._

_It will be hard._

_I have to shed my old image._

_But I know I can never return to how I was before._

_I will make a compromise._

_How are you?_

_Are you seeing anyone?_

_Love Rory. ~_

When she was done, she pressed the intercom button.

"Leila, could you please come up to my room when you have time. I have a favour to ask you."

On the other end of the line, Leila was sipping her cup of tea while chatting with Roger, the butler in the service quarters. When she heard Rory's voice, she looked at Roger in amazement.

"Miss Rory seems, nice, today." Roger said tentatively.

"What do you reckon's brought this on?" Leila asked in amazement, her adopted British accent shining through from that all expenses paid Christmas leave Emily and Richard had given her the year before.

"I dunno. Let's just hope it sticks around." Roger smiled at Leila as she hurried out of the quarters and up to Rory's room.

~*******~

Leila knocked tentatively on Rory's door.

"Who is it?" Rory asked pleasantly.

"It's Leila Miss Rory. Did you call me?" Leila asked timidly.

"Yes, I did. I wasn't expecting you so quickly. I didn't interrupt your break time did I?" Rory asked, concerned.

"No not at all Miss Rory. I am glad to be of service, anytime, day or night." Leila smiled back at Rory, whose eyes were shining with warmth and serenity.

"Thank you Leila." Rory said.

"So, what was it that you wanted, Miss Rory?" Leila asked.

"Well, if it's not too much trouble, I was wondering if you could post these two items." Rory asked, motioning to a letter and a package on her desk.

"Of course its not too much trouble Miss Rory, would you like anything while I'm out?" Leila asked.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary Leila, but thank you anyway." Rory smiled as Leila curtseyed and walked out of the room.

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Short, I know. Major filler chapter, I know. I just wanted to demonstrate Rory's thoughts and her efforts to change. More coming soon, but it may be a little late cus I just got a holiday job! Yeah! Cya all soon, and remember to please review.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, it belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers**

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**A/N#1 Hi everyone! Did you all have a good Christmas and New Year? I was away in Melbourne, hence my lack of updates over the festive season. Sorry about that, But I'm back now. Speaking of which, I just reread this whole story and realised that it might be getting a bit long, but I don't know. What do you guys think, should I just cut the crap and get straight onto what I was originally going to do with this story, or do you like my slow plodding? I've got lots of ideas for plodding, but I'm not quite sure how to cut the crap. But if you guys want me to, I will. But this chapter will be plodding. U guys have to review to tell me which you want, k?**

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**A/N#2 I am so happy! A little bird came to me and told me that series 3 of Gilmore Girls is coming next months to us poor deprived people here in Aus! Yeah! I don't know about you guys, but I have found that I have to be very careful about whos fanfics I read just in case they include season three spoilers. But don't worry all you ppl who have written about season three, I will soon be reading them!**

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Monday Morning

Rory walked into the halls of hell. She didn't bother to correct herself.

James immediately came up to her.

"We need to talk." He said nervously.

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing to you." Rory smiled.

They went and sat beside a tree.

"You first." Rory said.

"Okay. I don't wanna offend you here or anything, so please don't get offended."

"Okay."

"Okay. I know that you are like, the queen of Chilton and everything and I know that every guy is meant to fall at your feet and beg you to date him and…" He wanted to continue, but Rory cut him off.

"Is that how people think of me?" she questioned, her heart dropping. This changing thing was gonna be harder than she thought.

"Well, yeah." James said uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, I interrupted you, go on." Rory said, suddenly jolting back to reality.

"Okay, see, the thing is, I want to date a girl with substance. A girl that I can actually talk to about intellectual things, like books. A girl that doesn't mind doing homework and a girl with whom I know that the reason we are dating is not just because I'm the flavor of the week." James trailed off, allowing Rory her comment. He was a bit worried at this point. What if she got really angry?

But she didn't.

"Let me guess. That girl isn't me." She said sadly, knowing how different this conversation would be if she allowed her real self to show through.

"No. its not." James whispered.

There was a moment of silence, and then Rory had an idea.

"You know who just described, don't you?" She asked, smiling.

"Who?" James asked, thoroughly confused. He thought she would have been angry.

"Paris Gellar! You just described Paris Gellar as your dream date! Oh my God! You have to ask her out!"

"Pardon me?" James asked, shell shocked.

"You have to ask out Paris. She's your perfect match!" Rory repeated.

"So, you aren't mad?" he asked warily.

"Mad, no. of course not. Oh look, there's Paris. You have to go up and say hi!"

"Rory, are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, why."

"It's just that, last week, you would have yelled and screamed and humiliated me in front of everyone."

"I know. But I've changed. If I had spoken first today, I would have said that you needed a girl with substance and all that stuff and that I couldn't provide you with that at the moment, so it would be better if you dated someone else."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So does this mean.… we're over?" James asked

"Yep. Now go talk to Paris. A girl like that isn't gonna wait around for ever, you know." Rory smiled ruefully at James, who smiled back before running to catch up with Paris.

Rory sat alone under the tree.

She had taken the first step.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Followed by another, and another.

Rory began to sob.

She was sobbing so hard she didn't even hear the bell ring for the beginning of class.

She just sat under the tree and cried her heart out.

It was the first time she had cried since she had made that pact with herself to become a Chiltonite and hide her feelings.

It felt so good to cry.

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Okay, I think im gonna just end the chapter here. The next chap will take place the same day, just a little later, but I can't seem to think of the right words to write that at the moment. Big kinda point of the story is coming up soon; in fact it may even be in the next chapter! Yay! I can't believe it's taken seven chapters to get to this point. I originally planned it to only take one or two! Lol! Anyways, if u guys like this chapter, please review because then I will post the next chapter quicker, k! Luv yas alls! I'll be write back! Omg, I just said the kind of corny joke my science teacher would say. Ewwwwwww!


	8. Chapter 8

**Title – Barriers and Brick Walls**

**Chapter Eight**

**Disclaimer – I do not own Gilmore Girls. It belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and Warner Brothers. I don't own Calvin Klein, I don't own Christian Dior, and no, Surprise surprise, I don't own Versace.  
  
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**A/N#1 Hey all! Remember me?!?!?! Sorry it has been soooooo long between posts. Gilmore Girls hasn't been on much here in Aus, and when it was on it was in short bursts and we were expected to follow the story line. shakes head at the stupidity of channel 9 Anyways, the lack of Gilmore Girls motivation has meant that I haven't really wanted to write any stories. But now I am back!!! It is winter hols here in Aus and after doing "not as well as I had expected to" in my mid year English exam, I decided it was time for me to get back into practicing writing. SO HERE I AM!!! Aren't y'all glad I'm back?? Okay, probably not but that's okay. Anyways, if you like this story, pls tell me so, and if u don't, that's okay too. Have fun!!! :D  
  
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**Recap (thought you all might need one after how many months?! :p)**

"So does this mean.… we're over?" James asked

"Yep. Now go talk to Paris. A girl like that isn't gonna wait around for ever, you know." Rory smiled ruefully at James, who smiled back before running to catch up with Paris.

Rory sat alone under the tree.

She had taken the first step.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Followed by another, and another.

Rory began to sob.

She was sobbing so hard she didn't even hear the bell ring for the beginning of class.

She just sat under the tree and cried her heart out.

It was the first time she had cried since she had made that pact with herself to become a Chiltonite and hide her feelings.

It felt so good to cry.

After Rory had had a good cry, she look at her watch.

'Oh my God! I've missed my first two classes! Shit!' She thought and was about to race inside when she remembered that two counts of tardiness loses more merit points than a sick day.

Pulling out her mobile, she dialed the schools number.

Phone Call: Secretary/Rory

S: Good morning you've reached Chilton Preparatory School. How may I help you?

R: Yes, hello, my name is Rory Gilmore. I can't come into school today. I'm having dizzy spells and every time I stand I feel nauseas.

S: Have you seen the doctor, Rory?

R: No, I've scheduled an appointment later this afternoon.

S: All right dear, I hope you feel better and we'll see you at school tomorrow hopefully.

R: Thank you.

S: Bye, dear.

R: Bye

End Phone Call

'Wow, that was surprisingly easy. Now, what to do with the rest of my day. I can't go anywhere public while I'm in my school uniform, so I guess the first thing I have to do is go home and change. Lucky Grandma and Grandpa are both busy today with meetings.' Thought Rory as she walked to her car.

Parking in the driveway, Rory got out of the car and tried to slip unnoticed into the house.

"Miss Rory? what are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be at school?" Leila asked.

"Hi Leila. Yeah, sort of. Can you keep a secret and not tell grandma and grandpa about this, please?" Rory looked at the petite servant with begging eyes.

"Of course, Miss Rory. Can I get you anything, perhaps a cup of coffee? We still have some of that special coffee blend you were sent." Leila asked, with a mischievous grin on her face. She was so happy that Miss Rory's mood was light, and that she was sharing a secret with her.

"Some of Luke's coffee would be lovely, Leila. Why don't you put it on and I will go upstairs and get changed." Rory suggested.

Leila nodded and went into the kitchen to make the coffee, while Rory headed upstairs to her bedroom.

Once in her room, Rory opened her closet and tried to decide what to wear. She chose her low rider faded Calvin Klein jeans and a white Christian Dior top. She teamed it with her Christian Dior bag and, as it was a little chilly, Rory also took her Versace coat.

'I never used to wear these clothes, they're not really me. Should I go back to my old dressing style? Well…it would be a shame to waste them…maybe I don't have to change this part of me, I mean, its not like they actually change who I am.' Rory pondered, looking herself in the mirror. Deep down every girl dreams of wearing designer clothes, and Rory didn't want to give up that dream just yet.

After drinking coffee with Leila, Rory decided to get some good old fashioned retail therapy. But, not wanting to drive, she opted for the bus.

Standing at the bus stop trying to make sense of the timetable, Rory soon realised that she may be in for a long wait. The buses seemed to come every hour, and, as it was 10:15, she had already missed the 10 o'clock bus. But Rory didn't feel like going back to the house, she still felt a little claustrophobic there.

Settling down in a cross legged position on the seat, Rory open her Christian Dior Bag and took out the minidisc player that Jess had given her. The minidisc had lots of songs on it, a collection of her old favourites and new ones that Jess knew she would love. The songs had been revolving non stop around her head ever since she first listened to it, and she found that it calmed her soul and let her think about things.

A bus pulled up and Rory hailed it, paid her fare and took a seat without even looking at where the bus was headed. 'Anywhere but here.' Rory thought.

Sitting on the bus Rory drifted between the real world and the cogs turning in her mind, try to stay afloat by treading through her thoughts. Trying so hard but her thoughts were like concrete, setting quickly, holding her in one position that she was unable to move out of.


End file.
